let "honesty and authenticity" be your policy
Publicado por Patricio Varsariah el lunes, octubre 30, 2017
By allowing myself to be myself, I allow others to be themselves as well. This creates a healthy and supportive environment in which to live and communicate. In a society where people love to point fingers and make fun of them, most of the time you can only fight shameless judgments (even self-judgments) with absolute honesty. When you expose all of your self, when you talk about your problems and open up to receive attention and support, you allow others to respond and follow your example. The truth is that we are all in this together, subjected to the same learning processes and internal conflicts. We are all equally perfect in our imperfections. There is no reason not to admit it.
Too often, however, we try to show the world that we are impeccable with the hope that we all like and accept. But we can not please everyone and we should not try. The beauty of us lies in our vulnerability, our complex emotions, and our authentic imperfections. When we accept what we are and decide to be authentic, instead of thinking about what the world wants us to be, we open ourselves to real conversations, real relationships and a true peace of mind.
Keep this in mind. Be free, let "honesty and authenticity" be your policy today. Begin by admitting what many of us refuse to admit about ourselves for too long ...
We are more sensitive, vulnerable and insecure of ourselves that we want others to know. Each and every one of us has a sensitive side, and yet many of us try to hide it. Why? Because sensitive people are too often perceived as weak or broken. But feeling intensely is not a symptom of weakness, it is the characteristic of a truly alive and compassionate human being.
It is not the sensitive person who is broken, it is the understanding of our modern society that has become dysfunctional and emotionally incapacitated. There is no shame in expressing your authentic feelings. Those that are sometimes described as "too emotional" or "complicated" are the very structure of what keeps the dream alive for a more reflective world,
Never be ashamed to let your feelings, smiles, and tears shine in this world. And do not be afraid to feel a little uncomfortable and unsure of yourself in the process. In fact, if you sometimes feel unsure of yourself, I know exactly how you feel. I was also incredibly insecure about myself. . . Sometimes I still am. And not everything is bad Increased self-consciousness, anxiety, fear of being judged and feeling vulnerable and "different", in reality, they are not all bad. Those internal battles, those insecurities, have been my angels at times. Without them, I would never have disappeared in literature, language, mind, passionate work, and all the wild intensities that made me and unmade me, and molded me into the person I am today.
But one hard truth remains the enemies we encounter in life, especially our own inner demons, use the things we are insecure against. Which means we can not hide forever. We have to emerge. We have to grow through our insecurities. At some point, we must free ourselves and recover our power by being sure of who we are. . . sensitivities, vulnerabilities, insecurities, and everything. Instead of smiling to be polite, just cry when you need it. Instead of laughing when you are nervous or uncomfortable, just tell your truth. Instead of acting as if everything was fine, proclaim that it is not right, talk about your feelings! Free yourself-Admit your truth-Be vulnerable-Be sensitive. Be real. Take a courageous step forward.
We give others too much control over how we feel and live. In short, I have chosen to love and honor myself, instead of convincing others to do it for me every day, at some point, we all have to look at the world with a sincere and open heart and say: "This is me". Take me or leave me. "Getting to that point, however, is a journey, it takes time to condition our minds to resist the appeal of social validation.
Our desire to be socially validated by others is integrated directly into our DNA. It has been shown again and again, for example, that babies' emotions often derive directly from the behaviors of those around them. As we grow up, we learn to separate our thoughts and emotions from those of others, but many of us continue to seek-and in many cases we beg-positive social validation from others.
The biggest problem is that we tend to forget that people judge us based on a group of influences in their own lives that have absolutely nothing to do with us. For example, a person may assume things about you based on a previous problematic experience you had with another person who looks like you, or another person who shares the same name, etc. Therefore, basing your self-esteem on what others think puts you in a perpetual state of vulnerability, you are literally at the mercy of their unreliable and tendentious perspectives. If they see you with the right light and they respond in a positive and affirming way, then you feel good about yourself. And if not, you feel that you did something wrong.
In short: when you do everything for other people and base your happiness and self-esteem on their opinions, you have lost your moral center. If you see yourself doing this, as you will inevitably do at some point, remind yourself of the truth: what most people think of you does not matter.
Refocus your attention on the right relationships. Spend time with people who see you as you are, and not as they wish to think you are. Spend even more time with those who really know about you, and who still love and respect you anyway. And if someone expects you to be someone you are not, take a step back. It is wiser to lose relationships than to be who you are, to keep them intact by acting like someone you are not. It is easier to feed a little pain and meet someone new than to unite your own shattered identity. It is easier to fill an empty space in your life where someone else used to be, than to fill the empty space inside you where you used to be.
We often measure our own value on a scale based on materials. If the conditions are right, it is easy to grow horizontally by acquiring more money, newer cars, bigger houses and various external recognitions . Vertical growth, on the other hand, is when you stay in the same place with the same things for the most part, but you grow more and more within yourself. It's when you can say: "Five years ago I would have lost my mind because of this situation, but now I do not take it personally." This type of growth is much rarer, but it is the only real growth that exists. Unfortunately, many of us feel stuck, and we age much faster than we grow up, because we focus almost entirely on horizontal achievements.
No matter where your life takes you: big cities or small towns, online meetings or personal exchanges: you will inevitably find situations that will make you doubt yourself. . . situations where everyone seems to have more than you. . . situations that leave you feeling completely inferior. And you will unconsciously measure your own worth depending on what you have on the outside, instead of who you are inside. But you know better! Pursuing social praises external to their own psychological detriment makes no sense. Do your best to catch yourself in the act. . . and then catch up with the ideas and activities that make you feel complete again. Find the things of greatest value: the things that wealth and the material state can not buy. What matters most is having strength of character, peace of mind and a grateful heart. If you are lucky to have any of these things, never sell them. Never come short.
We rarely give ourselves the credit we deserve. It is easy to look at the past and repent of things. It is easy to wish you had learned a lesson before. But doing it does not work for you. What is good for you is to give yourself due credit. Do you remember that time you thought you could not pass? You did it, and you will do it again. Do not let your challenges give you the best of you. Appreciate how far you have come. You've been through a lot, but you've also grown a lot. You deserve self recognition for your strength and resilience. We all do it
Occasionally people ask me how I stay so positive after everything I've been through, I always tell them the same thing: "It's because no matter what, I'm a survivor, not a victim." And the same is true of you. You are a survivor! Never forget. Remember what you deserve and keep moving forward. Each step and experience is necessary. In the end, all the little things you do make a big difference. Life is not about a single moment of great triumph and achievement. It's about the tests and the mistakes that slowly take you there: the blood, the sweat, the tears and the small and inconsequential things you do every day. In the end everything matters: every step, every repentance, every decision, every minor setback and a minuscule victory.
Apparently insignificant events add up to something. The minimum wage job you had when you started working. The nights you spent socializing with co-workers that you never see. The contemplations about the elaborate plans of the future that never came to be. All this has strengthened you. All this has led you to have all the successes you've had. All this has made you who you are today. And all this shows that you have the strength and resilience to face the challenges that come your way. Give credit, right now, and take a step forward with grace.
Happy week.
By allowing myself to be myself, I allow others to be themselves as well. This creates a healthy and supportive environment in which to live and communicate. In a society where people love to point fingers and make fun of them, most of the time you can only fight shameless judgments (even self-judgments) with absolute honesty. When you expose all of your self, when you talk about your problems and open up to receive attention and support, you allow others to respond and follow your example. The truth is that we are all in this together, subjected to the same learning processes and internal conflicts. We are all equally perfect in our imperfections. There is no reason not to admit it.
Too often, however, we try to show the world that we are impeccable with the hope that we all like and accept. But we can not please everyone and we should not try. The beauty of us lies in our vulnerability, our complex emotions, and our authentic imperfections. When we accept what we are and decide to be authentic, instead of thinking about what the world wants us to be, we open ourselves to real conversations, real relationships and a true peace of mind.
Keep this in mind. Be free, let "honesty and authenticity" be your policy today. Begin by admitting what many of us refuse to admit about ourselves for too long ...
We are more sensitive, vulnerable and insecure of ourselves that we want others to know. Each and every one of us has a sensitive side, and yet many of us try to hide it. Why? Because sensitive people are too often perceived as weak or broken. But feeling intensely is not a symptom of weakness, it is the characteristic of a truly alive and compassionate human being.
It is not the sensitive person who is broken, it is the understanding of our modern society that has become dysfunctional and emotionally incapacitated. There is no shame in expressing your authentic feelings. Those that are sometimes described as "too emotional" or "complicated" are the very structure of what keeps the dream alive for a more reflective world,
It is not the sensitive person who is broken, it is the understanding of our modern society that has become dysfunctional and emotionally incapacitated. There is no shame in expressing your authentic feelings. Those that are sometimes described as "too emotional" or "complicated" are the very structure of what keeps the dream alive for a more reflective world,
Never be ashamed to let your feelings, smiles, and tears shine in this world. And do not be afraid to feel a little uncomfortable and unsure of yourself in the process. In fact, if you sometimes feel unsure of yourself, I know exactly how you feel. I was also incredibly insecure about myself. . . Sometimes I still am. And not everything is bad Increased self-consciousness, anxiety, fear of being judged and feeling vulnerable and "different", in reality, they are not all bad. Those internal battles, those insecurities, have been my angels at times. Without them, I would never have disappeared in literature, language, mind, passionate work, and all the wild intensities that made me and unmade me, and molded me into the person I am today.
But one hard truth remains the enemies we encounter in life, especially our own inner demons, use the things we are insecure against. Which means we can not hide forever. We have to emerge. We have to grow through our insecurities. At some point, we must free ourselves and recover our power by being sure of who we are. . . sensitivities, vulnerabilities, insecurities, and everything. Instead of smiling to be polite, just cry when you need it. Instead of laughing when you are nervous or uncomfortable, just tell your truth. Instead of acting as if everything was fine, proclaim that it is not right, talk about your feelings! Free yourself-Admit your truth-Be vulnerable-Be sensitive. Be real. Take a courageous step forward.
We give others too much control over how we feel and live. In short, I have chosen to love and honor myself, instead of convincing others to do it for me every day, at some point, we all have to look at the world with a sincere and open heart and say: "This is me". Take me or leave me. "Getting to that point, however, is a journey, it takes time to condition our minds to resist the appeal of social validation.
Our desire to be socially validated by others is integrated directly into our DNA. It has been shown again and again, for example, that babies' emotions often derive directly from the behaviors of those around them. As we grow up, we learn to separate our thoughts and emotions from those of others, but many of us continue to seek-and in many cases we beg-positive social validation from others.
The biggest problem is that we tend to forget that people judge us based on a group of influences in their own lives that have absolutely nothing to do with us. For example, a person may assume things about you based on a previous problematic experience you had with another person who looks like you, or another person who shares the same name, etc. Therefore, basing your self-esteem on what others think puts you in a perpetual state of vulnerability, you are literally at the mercy of their unreliable and tendentious perspectives. If they see you with the right light and they respond in a positive and affirming way, then you feel good about yourself. And if not, you feel that you did something wrong.
In short: when you do everything for other people and base your happiness and self-esteem on their opinions, you have lost your moral center. If you see yourself doing this, as you will inevitably do at some point, remind yourself of the truth: what most people think of you does not matter.
Refocus your attention on the right relationships. Spend time with people who see you as you are, and not as they wish to think you are. Spend even more time with those who really know about you, and who still love and respect you anyway. And if someone expects you to be someone you are not, take a step back. It is wiser to lose relationships than to be who you are, to keep them intact by acting like someone you are not. It is easier to feed a little pain and meet someone new than to unite your own shattered identity. It is easier to fill an empty space in your life where someone else used to be, than to fill the empty space inside you where you used to be.
We often measure our own value on a scale based on materials. If the conditions are right, it is easy to grow horizontally by acquiring more money, newer cars, bigger houses and various external recognitions . Vertical growth, on the other hand, is when you stay in the same place with the same things for the most part, but you grow more and more within yourself. It's when you can say: "Five years ago I would have lost my mind because of this situation, but now I do not take it personally." This type of growth is much rarer, but it is the only real growth that exists. Unfortunately, many of us feel stuck, and we age much faster than we grow up, because we focus almost entirely on horizontal achievements.
No matter where your life takes you: big cities or small towns, online meetings or personal exchanges: you will inevitably find situations that will make you doubt yourself. . . situations where everyone seems to have more than you. . . situations that leave you feeling completely inferior. And you will unconsciously measure your own worth depending on what you have on the outside, instead of who you are inside. But you know better! Pursuing social praises external to their own psychological detriment makes no sense. Do your best to catch yourself in the act. . . and then catch up with the ideas and activities that make you feel complete again. Find the things of greatest value: the things that wealth and the material state can not buy. What matters most is having strength of character, peace of mind and a grateful heart. If you are lucky to have any of these things, never sell them. Never come short.
We rarely give ourselves the credit we deserve. It is easy to look at the past and repent of things. It is easy to wish you had learned a lesson before. But doing it does not work for you. What is good for you is to give yourself due credit. Do you remember that time you thought you could not pass? You did it, and you will do it again. Do not let your challenges give you the best of you. Appreciate how far you have come. You've been through a lot, but you've also grown a lot. You deserve self recognition for your strength and resilience. We all do it
Occasionally people ask me how I stay so positive after everything I've been through, I always tell them the same thing: "It's because no matter what, I'm a survivor, not a victim." And the same is true of you. You are a survivor! Never forget. Remember what you deserve and keep moving forward. Each step and experience is necessary. In the end, all the little things you do make a big difference. Life is not about a single moment of great triumph and achievement. It's about the tests and the mistakes that slowly take you there: the blood, the sweat, the tears and the small and inconsequential things you do every day. In the end everything matters: every step, every repentance, every decision, every minor setback and a minuscule victory.
Apparently insignificant events add up to something. The minimum wage job you had when you started working. The nights you spent socializing with co-workers that you never see. The contemplations about the elaborate plans of the future that never came to be. All this has strengthened you. All this has led you to have all the successes you've had. All this has made you who you are today. And all this shows that you have the strength and resilience to face the challenges that come your way. Give credit, right now, and take a step forward with grace.
Happy week.