Life is very hard sometimes. There is no escape from that reality. It is impossible to live well without finding a certain level of struggle, and there are some seasons in our lives that are especially heartbreaking. Personally I have gone through those seasons of deep loss period. Concern leaked into my daily life. "Unhappiness" is the simplest word to describe it.

Then, when I was learning to navigate my new reality, with my health problems and a situation arose that hit me so hard, it was a devastating loss: the death of my mother. The loss of such a key figure in my life was intense! He was absolutely devastated and torn down to what appeared to be the lowest minimum for weeks.

With so much loss in rapid succession, there were days when getting out of bed was my greatest achievement. This is the nature of the struggle, but as the days turned into weeks, months and years, I learned to move on. I learned that we are resistant. And now I appreciate more what I have and the people who are dear to me.

Sitting here now, years later, I can honestly say that I have learned great lessons from those agonizing moments in my life. I have learned how to deal with difficult times, pain and disappointment, and, above all, I have learned the vital importance of self-love and personal care, the magic that makes it possible to smile again and again.

The truth is that everyone experiences unhappy circumstances at times, but there is a big difference between experiencing these episodes of unhappiness and living a habitually unhappy life. That is what chronically unhappy people do. And although many of these people are afraid to admit it, a great majority of their unhappiness comes from their own perpetual neglect.

Over the past decade, I have written on this subject and I think I have helped hundreds of unhappy people rediscover their smiles and, in the process, I have learned a lot about the negative behaviors that usually stop them. Self negligence is at the top of this list. Even if you are generally a happy person, personal abandonment is something that can easily scare you.

Resisting and ignoring your own feelings and emotions does not help you. It leads to stress, illness, confusion, broken relationships, attacks of anger and episodes of deep and dark depression. Anyone who has experienced any of the above knows that these mental states are terribly unhealthy ... and when you have a habit of neglecting yourself, it is almost impossible to escape.

As I mentioned recently on my website, you have to admit, to some extent, that you've spent too much of your life trying to shrink. Trying to make you smaller. More calm Less sensitive. Less stubborn Less needed Less you. Because you felt broken and you didn't want to be too much or drive people away. You wanted to fit. You wanted people to love you. You wanted to make a good impression. You wanted to be loved. So you can feel healed. So, for years, you sacrificed yourself for making other people happy. And for years, you have suffered. But you are tired or tired of suffering and have finished shrinking. Right? Good!

It is not your job to change who you are to become another person's idea of ​​a worthwhile human being. You are worth it Not because other people think you are, but because you are breathing your own air and, therefore, you are important. Your thoughts matter. Your feelings are important. Your voice matters. And with or without the approval or permission of anyone, you must be who you are and live your truth. Even if it makes people turn their heads. Even if it makes them feel uncomfortable. Even if they choose to leave.

You may have been destroyed by adversity, but YOU are not. So don't let others (or your own mind) convince you otherwise. You have to be happy again, you must give yourself permission to meet your own needs. How to honor your feelings and emotions. And how to make self-care a priority.

If you are struggling with any of this, you are not alone! Many of us are there with you, working hard to think more clearly, respond to life more effectively and get back on track.

Regards.
Patricio Varsariah.