Through a series of writings that I begin today about “suffering” I will try to help and help me, as far as possible, to see life with more realism, with more encouragement, with more enthusiasm, with the conviction that we can control our own life and it is worth living it…; and we can do it without asking for any miraculous change around us. And I say this because I am absolutely convinced that happiness depends on ourselves, not on our circumstances. 

Of course, sometimes the surrounding circumstances make it difficult, very difficult, that we are well, but if we have achieved good control of our thoughts we will be able to own our emotions, and those circumstances can be seen as opportunities to develop new skills and resources, which will facilitate the control of our lives. We all know people, supposedly fortunate, to whom life seems to smile, and yet they feel tremendously miserable. 

On the contrary, we see human beings with terrible experiences who, despite everything, manage to maintain a spirited spirit, and continue to “fight” with a constant force, when not overwhelming, that leads them to that wonderful feeling of “being well. With themselves ». That experience is even more intense and full when we experience it in those moments when life seems to put us to the test. The crucial thing is not what "happens to us", but what we think in each moment. Thought is prior to emotion, and that thought is what makes us feel good or bad. This fact explains how people who have lived or witnessed the same event experience very different emotions before it: some may feel miserable, others lucky, others indifferent ... 

In short, and with plain words, it is about our brain acting in our favor and not against us. Our brain will always accompany us, as will our Autonomous Nervous System and our Central Nervous System. Surely, one of the first things they should have taught us is how to discover them and how to put them at our service. Far from that palpable reality, the truth is that many people, despite the years they have been behind them, still feel prisoners of "their nerves", of "their way of being", of "their way of acting »,« To see life »... There is nothing to justify this chain, that suffering« as useless as it is prolonged ». We are going to try to learn how to control our life and, for that, we will discover how to move better towards illusion and not towards suffering. 

Let us have clear ideas: do not suffer uselessly! 

Some people will think that I am denying the obvious, and will argue that it is impossible not to suffer in the face of certain facts: death of a loved one, serious illnesses, accidents, "borderline situations", natural catastrophes ... and, of course, they are right! But make no mistake! One thing is the absolutely natural, spontaneous and human feeling that we experience in dramatic situations, and another very different is the well in which we fall when there seems to be only one way: to "block", " immerse ourselves "and" spin "uninterruptedly to events that are no longer reversed. 

I do not seek the hardening of people, quite the opposite! But sensitivity does not consist in suffering and suffering, without the possibility of overcoming suffering. It is sensitive who is moved by adversity, who tries to help the surrounding people, who easily puts himself in the place of others, who is tender and moved by the cry of a child, at the lost look of an adult, before the sadness or the lack of illusions of an old man…; But being sensitive does not mean stop fighting hostile or difficult events, or "sink" in the face of adversity or "throw in the towel" at times when there seems to be no hope. 

Sensitivity enlarges the human being, and accompanies authentically privileged people; people who are able to feel where others do not "arrive", to "live" and be moved, but who know how to act with enough emotional intelligence not to sink into a bottomless pit. A misunderstood sensibility is like a deadly trap, which can lead to suffering as useless as it is prolonged. A suffering that far from healing the wounds deepens and opens them, causing bleeding that weakens us continuously and imperceptibly. "We suffer because we are people!" Who has not heard this phrase? 

I will not deny it, although perhaps I could make some nuances; For example, have we stopped to think that animals, and even plants, also suffer? It does not seem very appropriate that we feel so proud to suffer. Is it not preferable that we seek our essence as people in what marks our differences? What better way to use our mind in overcoming irrational reactions! In this way we will find viable and intelligent alternatives that will help us in one of the main objectives of the human being: the continuous search for balance, stability, self-control ..., the search, in short, for our identity. 

Have we noticed how some older people seem to give off wisdom, peace, serenity and calm through all their pores? Have we wondered why they are so different from other peers of his? The answer is in his attitude; for the former, their life was a continuous learning, they learned every day from their experiences, "improved" with their experiences, found new paths and ways out of difficulties; they faced the events with balance and ... they always followed a maxim: «Every moment of your life makes sense if you learn from it», and, if you do, the following moments will be simpler. 

On the contrary, for the second group, the events they lived were only a source of effort and difficulty, if not suffering. How many times have we heard people "older" lament at what they considered the great injustice of life? They were saddened thinking how their existence would have changed if, as young people, they had known what experience has taught them over the years. Do we have to reach an advanced age to learn to live? What a paradox of fate! But let's face it, let's not fall into that trap! Just as children learn since they were little, and how they learn! 

 There are those who think that life is a maze, but, even if it were, if we take it with humor and prepare to learn from the moment we cross the starting line, after a few "laughs" we will find ourselves available Find the exit. 

One of the principles that will help us the most in our "path" will be the discovery that, contrary to what we might think, the important thing in our life are thoughts, not events. 

TO BE CONTINUE… 
Patricio Varsariah.